Hi Friends,
I’m smiling as I’m typing this because in some ways I still can’t believe this is happening.
I’M PREGNANT!
If you’ve been here for a couple of years, you might remember that when I first started writing this Substack, my life looked very different. I was 40, single, and actively planning to have a baby on my own. I had timelines, appointments scheduled, and a very clear path forward.
And then I met Tom.
Our first date was one month before I was supposed to do an egg retrieval to create embryos with a donor. One month. I remember thinking how incredible the timing was. I had spent so much time trying to get comfortable with a very specific version of my future and suddenly there was this completely unexpected person in it.
So I paused everything.
And to be completely honest, although the decision wasn’t hard (my heart was Tom’s after the third date), that decision wasn’t as simple as it might sound. Every month matters when you’re in your 40s. Pressing pause wasn’t neutral - it was a risk. A real one. There was a very real possibility that by choosing to see where things could go with Tom, I might be giving up my best chance at having a child at all.
But there was also something else that felt just as true, if not more.
Deep down, I didn’t actually want to have a baby on my own. I had made peace with that path, but it wasn’t the one I had always imagined. What I really wanted was to find my person and build a life together. And meeting Tom made me realize how much that still mattered to me.
So I chose that.
And I knew, very clearly, that even if it didn’t work out the way I hoped - even if it cost me the chance to have a child - it would still be worth it to be with him.
We both knew very early on that we were going to get married. Not in a dramatic, whirlwind way, but in a quiet, certain way that just kept proving itself true. A few months into dating, we started having conversations about what it would look like to try to preserve time - whether that meant freezing embryos together so we didn’t feel like we had to rush everything else.
But life doesn’t always follow the cleanest path, even when you try to plan for it.
What I’ll say for now is that getting here wasn’t straightforward. There were moments that felt hopeful, and moments that felt discouraging, and a lot of time spent not knowing how things would turn out.
Which is why I still can’t quite believe I get to say this now.
I’m about halfway through this pregnancy, and everything is looking good. I feel incredibly grateful, and honestly, a little bit in awe of how it all unfolded.
I know so many women are navigating questions around timing, fertility, and what their lives are “supposed” to look like. I also know how much pressure there can be to make the “right” decision at the “right” time.
My path wasn’t always the most logical one. And definitely didn’t always feel like the safest one.
But it was the one that felt the most true for me.
And somehow, it led me here. Thanks be to God.
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On a much less profound note, if you’ve been wondering why I’ve disappeared a bit from sharing outfits, it’s because I was pretty sick for the first 16 weeks and now I’m in that in-between phase where nothing quite fits.
I’m currently rotating through sweats, elastic waistbands, and anything oversized enough to make it work, but I have a feeling I’m going to need a few real pieces soon.
If you have maternity (or just bump-friendly) favorites, I’m all ears! :)
I’m thinking about doing another post sharing more of the details of this journey - the decisions, the IVF rounds, and everything in between. I’m just trying to decide what and how much to share publicly. If you have any specific IVF questions please feel free to ask in the comments or email me. If I do another post, I’d love to address them and share what I’ve learned from my experience! 🤍
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I’ll leave you with the most gorgeous pastel color palette of spring knits! I love wearing mostly neutrals, but I’m a sucker for a cashmere sweater in a really good color. It’s not easy to really nail a color and these are all just stunning. All pictured (and a few more) are linked here.
My top picks:
The travel wrap. So good. I have it in black, but this blue is just stunning.
The Jamie Haller cashmere crew. I’m usually a green over blue person (I’ve been eyeing this green one for awhile now), but I think blue is just calling me.
The Alex Mill cable knit. Just classic. It comes in 4 other colors too if pink isn’t your thing.
The Demlee cotton cashmere or JK V-neck or honestly in the same-ish category would be the VJD Carolyn. She’s a beauty. I really love the idea of a white/cream v-neck for spring/summer.
Oh my goodness, this is so exciting! Congratulations, Abby!! I could not be more thrilled for you. Enjoy this magical time. xoxo
Congratulations! So exciting ❤️